


here alone (without you) on the other side of the moon

by basl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Magical Realism, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 19:36:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17966717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basl/pseuds/basl
Summary: The search for dragon flowers is a yearly quest, but they have always done it together before. Phil has been nervous about letting Dani go alone, even though everyone has assured her that it was going to be fine, that they have done it enough times to know the path by heart. Martyn had needed her to stay because it was going to be a busy week, but now Dani was late to return and none of it mattered.or dan and phil are girlsandwitches.





	here alone (without you) on the other side of the moon

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Phandomficfests' February Femslash Fic Fest.
> 
> Thanks to @secretlizard for reading over this!

“Hi, Phil,” says Cornelia as she enters the shop. Phil’s sitting behind the counter, Berit is lying by her feet, fluffy tail brushing against her leg from time to time.

 

“Hi, Corn,” she greats back. “How was your day?”

 

“Tiring but fun, as always,” Cornelia smiles brightly as she takes her scarf off. “Where’s your brother?”

 

“Running some errands for mum.”

 

Cornelia walks around the counter and throws an arm around Phil’s shoulders. She is much shorter, but with Phil sitting down she can do it easily. “When is Dani coming back?” She asks quietly Her smile is so warm and contagious that Phil can’t help but smile back.

 

“Today,” she answers, not caring how eager she sounds. Dani’s been away long enough.

 

“I’m sure she’s bringing the prettiest dragon flowers,” Cornelia squeezes her shoulders before kneeling down to run her fingers thought Berit’s soft, white fur. “Wake up, lazy boy. You are supposed to be helping Phil.” The fox just swats at her hand with his paw.

 

“It’s fine, he was helping me earlier,” Phil chimes in.

 

“I reckon you two should go home early so you can welcome Dani home,” Cornelia suggests, leaning against the counter.

 

There’s nothing that Phil would like more right now than to just go home and wait for her girlfriend. She might even cook something, or bake a cake, or make a blanket fort for them to lie in like they still like to do sometimes.

 

“I don’t know,” she says instead. “Martyn would be pissed if I leave.”

 

“Martyn doesn’t understand romance,” Cornelia huffs. “Maybe I should leave him all alone for a while, then he'll learn.”

 

Phil shakes her head fondly, Cornelia is too good. “There's a lot to do here. If I go home I would be doing nothing.”

 

“Well, the offer stands. If you want to leave, you can.”

 

“Thanks, Corn.”

 

Phil leaves Cornelia at reception and goes to the back of the shop. The workroom is too quiet without Dani here to help her out with the amulets. She is better at crafting than Phil is, and Phil loves her a little more for that.

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ Phil walks closer to the shop, she hadn’t realized how much she had missed it.  Her mum is right beside her with a warm hand on her shoulder. _

 

_ “You’re going to love the new arrangements, Philipa. Remember how much you hated the old red couch at the reception? That’s gone. We got rid of a lot of stuff! It looks so much better. You’ll see, you’ll see,” Kath chats away happily, unaware of how uneasy her words make her daughter feel. _

 

_ Phil has never been good with change, especially change that she wasn’t present to witness. She might have hated the red couch but she wasn’t there to see it go, and she is going to miss it. Phil is nervous that when she walks in she is going to find a completely different place. The shop has been the same since she was a kid. She really hopes it doesn’t look too different, she can only handle so much newness. _

 

_ “What are you waiting for, Phil?” Kath laughs. She pushes past Phil and opens the door. _

 

_ Phil is not sure what she was expecting to see, a modern and minimalistic new place full of technology like all the places she has seen while she was away at the Academy? She almost laughs at herself. The shop still looks ancient, stocked with spell books and amulets and weird containers. The shelves are the same, the counter is the same, even the smell is the same. The red couch is gone though, and they moved a couple of tables. Phil can live with that. _

 

_ “Pipp!” A velvety voice calls out and, Cornelia wraps her arms around Phil’s waist and presses tightly to her. “I missed you lots.” _

 

_ “Me too, Corn,” Phil hugs her back, burying her face in the red curls that decorate her head. _

 

_ “How was the Academy? Fun?” _

 

_ “It was great, but I’m glad I’m back.” _

 

_ Phil has missed everyone here. No matter how cool and exciting the city is, she loves the familiarity of being here, surrounded by people that she already knows and loves. _

 

_ Phil listens to her mum and Cornelia talk about the things Phil missed while she was away, and they are in the middle of the story of how Martyn gave himself a rash by mixing the wrong ingredients together when Phil sees her. _

 

_ The door of the workroom opens with a slow swing, almost hesitantly, and a tall figure emerges, carrying a small box. Time seems to freeze for a second, the girl looks at Phil, warm brown eyes peering into her soul. Then she sets the box on the nearest table and hurries back through the door. _

 

_ Cornelia must notice Phil staring because she lets out a giggle. “That was Dani,” she informs Phil, bringing her back to reality. “She’s lovely, but a little shy sometimes.” _

 

_ “You replaced me?” Phil asks before she can stop herself. The girl might be cute but even that can’t stop the pang of jealousy in her chest. She laughs to lighten the mood though. _

 

_ “Don’t be silly,” her mum says, not missing a beat. “You are going to love her work, she is so good at crafting amulets.” Kath grips her arm and tugs her forward. “Come meet her.” _

 

_ Phil follows reluctantly, glancing over her shoulder at Cornelia, who just shrugs. _

  
  


⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

“Am I being dumb,  Berit?” She sits in the driver's seat of Dani’s car, clutching the wheel with both hands.

 

He gives her a look.“I miss her too, she is a better driver than you.”

 

Phil knows he’s right. “Yeah,” she sighs. “You think she’s gonna be mad about the dent?” She might have hit a tree while she was reversing the car earlier.

 

“Raging,” he has the audacity to sound amused.

 

“It’s her fault for leaving me alone.”

 

“And giving you the keys,” Berit adds.

 

“Would you rather walk home?”

 

He hums, contemplative. “I run fast.”

 

Phil just starts the car and steers out of the parking lot.

 

The drive home is short and Phil manages not to crash or hit anything this time. The sun has almost set which means Dani should be back sometime in the next hour.

 

Phil enters their small cottage with Berit right behind her. She turns on all the lights on her way to the kitchen. The place is too quiet, only the nearby wood’s sounds break the stillness.

 

“Turn the telly on, would you?” she asks Berit while she opens the fridge. There’s not a lot in there. She lets the door fall shut and takes her phone out to order a Pizza.

 

The pizza arrives and they eat. There’s still no sign of Dani.

 

“She should already be back,” Phil mutters, trying to keep her increasingly worried mind at bay and not succeeding at all.

 

“She probably ran out of sunlight and decided to continue in the morning. Don’t worry too much.”

 

“Yeah, I guess,” she says, little conviction in her voice. “A storm is coming, you know. She needs to hurry.”

 

“She is going to be fine, Phil,” Berit assures her. “Now go to sleep. You are opening the shop tomorrow.”

  
  


⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “So... you just came back from the Academy?” Dani asks. She is sitting at the work table, one of her hands protected by a black glove while she rubs a gem against sandpaper to smooth its sharp edges. _

 

_ “Yeah…” Phil  _ _ trails off, eyes on Dani’s hands. She has pretty hands and long fingers, her nails are painted black and she is wearing a bracelet with an amethyst sphere in it. _

 

_ “How was it?” Dani seems to be very concentrated in polishing the gem, Phil takes the opportunity to look at her some more. _

 

_ “It wasn’t bad. Some things were interesting. Like the city.” _

 

_ Dani hums. “The city was the only fun part for me too,” she looks up then, an indecipherable spark dancing on her eyes. _

 

_ “You went to the Academy?” Phil tries not to sound too surprised, Dani is smart and talented and she can probably do whatever she wants. _

 

_ “Yeah, for like six months,” she laughs. “It wasn’t for me, I don’t care about demonology or spells. Just want to make amulets, to be honest.” _

 

_ “Me too,” Phil gives her a breathy laugh, “but you’re better than me at that.” _

 

_ “I have yet to see that,” Dani says, smirking. _

 

_ “I’ll make you one.” _

 

_ “Can’t wait.” _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

Phil opens the door and the little bell above it rings, the sound too cheerful for her mood. She could barely sleep last night, tossing and turning, worrying about Dani’s whereabouts.

 

The search for dragon flowers is a yearly quest, but they have always done it together before. Phil has been nervous about letting Dani go alone, even though everyone has assured her that it was going to be fine, that they have done it enough times to know the path by heart. Martyn had needed her to stay because it was going to be a busy week, but now Dani was late to return and none of it mattered.

 

Berit is at home waiting for Dani to return while Phil drowns in anxiety at the shop.

 

It’s a busy day, customers come and go and Phil does her thing, checks them out and helps them when they need it. Kath shows up at lunchtime with a container full of stew, and she sends Phil to eat in the workroom. She unlocks her phone then, hoping for a text from Dani but there is nothing.

 

Food doesn’t taste right when she is worried like this, so she puts it away and busies herself finishing some amulets.

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

  
  


_ Phil sits in the corner of the room and works. She rarely uses the mechanical tools here, but today is about perfection, about polishing the black onyx into a pretty oval. _

 

_ Phil surprises herself by how hard she is trying, maybe it was something about the way Dani said that she couldn’t wait to see the amulet Phil was going to make for her, or maybe it was about the pleased look on her face when Phil had offered to make it in the first place, or maybe it was about Phil wanting to impress her. Yeah, probably that. _

 

_ The little machine hums steadily, drowning pretty much any other thought. Phil is so focussed on shaping the stone right and not hurting herself that she doesn’t even hear the door opening. _

 

_ “What have you got there? Dani perks over Phil’s shoulder. _

 

_ Phil nearly drops her tweezers. “Dani! Don’t sneak up on me like that,” she says, a startled hand over her heart. _

 

_ “Sorry,” she giggles. “Let me see?” _

 

_ Phil can’t even answer before she is leaning closer. One of her hands rests on Phil’s shoulder and she can feel Dani’s hair brushing her cheek. _

 

_ “I like onyx, it’s pretty,” she says after a moment of observation. “I hate the machine though,” she leans away, and Phil already misses her warmth. _

 

_ “Me too, most of the time. But I have to admit it’s better at rounded shapes than I can do by hand.” _

 

_ “Oh, yeah. It’s just noisy.” _

 

_ “You don’t like noise?” _

 

_ Dani shakes her head. “That’s why I’m going to live in the woods.” _

 

_ “The woods are nice,” Phil muses. “Maybe I’ll be your neighbor.” _

 

_ “Maybe,” Dani smiles. _

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

“What if she got hurt?” There is desperation in her voice. It’s noon already and Dani is not back. A million reasons are running through Phil’s mind and every one of them is worse than the other.

 

“Everything is going to be fine, Phil. Dani is perfectly capable of taking care of herself,” Kath tries to reason with her.

 

“It’ll be two nights mum. This is not right.”

 

“You stay out longer than you need to when you go together.”

 

“It’s not the same,” she shakes her head. “Dani promised.”

 

“I know you’re worried, my love,” her mum says, taking Phil’s hand in hers and squeezing gently. “But I’m sure she’s fine. Maybe you should come to sleep home with your father and me so you are not alone.”

 

Phil is already shaking her head. “What if she comes back and I’m not there.”

 

“Right,” Kath sighs. “Maybe I can come sleep at your place then.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Berit is there.”

 

Phil’s mum is so kind but also too quick to discard Phil’s worries, and she can’t handle that tonight.

 

“Alright then,” she says though she doesn’t sound too convinced.

 

“Can I leave now?”

 

“Yes, I’ll take care of the shop.”

 

“Thanks, mum.”

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “Wait, you were making that for me?” Dani asks, clearly surprised. _

 

_ Phil nods. “I said I would.” _

 

_ “I love it, you know? I’m never taking it off,” Dani is looking down at the bracelet. It’s simple, but Phil figured it would be something Dani would like. A black onyx oval on a golden chain. _

 

_ “It’s exactly the aesthetic I go for, I guess you read me well.” She looks up then, eyes shining and dimple popping. _

 

_ “I’m very glad you like it.” _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

“I should go look for her.”

 

“It’s dark outside, Phil.”

 

“She should be back already,” Phil says for what feels like the hundredth time today.

 

“I know. I’m worried too. Especially because of the storm.”

 

“The storm,” Phil repeats, mind already far away.

 

“I’m sure she’ll be back tomorrow,” Berit jumps on the sofa beside her and rest his head on her thigh, Phil works her fingers through his fur absently.

 

If Dani is not back with the sun Phil is going into the woods to look for her.

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “I like your place,” Phil comments as she looks around Dani’s tiny apartment. there are crystals and stones scattered around like it’s just an extension of the workroom, but it still looks tidy somehow. “I miss having my own space.” _

 

_ “You’re living with your parents, right?” _

 

_ “Yeah,” she sighs, “I’m a bit of a loser.” _

 

_ “You are not. I'll have you know I think you’re very cool.” _

 

_ Phil stares in disbelief. “You’re just saying that to be nice.” _

 

_ “You could be my roommate,” Dani says after a couple of minutes. She is trying hard to sound casual but the rosy patch on her cheek always gives her away. _

 

_ “Yeah? And where will I sleep?” She asks and laughs gesturing around the small studio. There is a Chinese lattice wall with a pretty design that separates the bedroom, but the only door leads to the bathroom. _

 

_ “You can have half of my bed. Only if you promise not to steal the blankets,” she teases, looking at Phil through her lashes. _

 

_ “I’ll think about it,” Phil replies, flashing Dani a toothy smile. _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

Morning comes but Dani doesn’t. Phil got another poor night of sleep on the sofa. Berit must have pulled a blanket over her, but Phil still feels cold inside. She looks around for her phone and checks the time.

 

7 a.m.

 

It’s both too early and too late. Today is her day off and just staying in the house doesn’t feel like an option at all, but going anywhere else would be wrong. Anywhere except the woods.

 

Her legs move on their own accord as she moves around the house. Phil gets a bag from the closet and starts filling it with supplies. Granola bars go in alongside bandages and a pocket knife. She throws a thermal blanket in as well.

 

“What are you doing now?” Berit voice comes from somewhere at her back.

 

“I have to go find her.”

 

“Phil…”

 

“Please, come with me. You swore to protect us,” Phil turns around to face Berit, she bites her lips hard trying to stop it from trembling.

 

“I’m trying to protect  _ you _ ,” he is trying to calm her down, she notices, as if she is a wild animal about to run away.

 

“What about her?” She snaps, “We have to protect her.”

 

They stare each other down for a second, Phil’s chin tilted up defiantly, until Berit huffs.

 

“Can we tell your family first?”

 

“No time for that, they wouldn’t let us go,” Phil resumes throwing things in the bag, rifling through cabinets and cupboards looking for dried herbs and oils in case Dani is hurt. The mere thought makes her want to throw up, but she has to be ready for everything.

 

“Ok,” Berit questions. “Are we leaving now?”

 

“Yes, now.”

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “Patience and determination,” Phil hears Martyn say. “Onyx is a great stone for a crafter.” _

 

_ Phil looks at them from the corner of her eye. Dani had been filling boxes with dried herbs when Martyn approached her. _

 

_ “I know, Phil chose well,” Dani’s eyes pause on Phil then, and she can feel a spark run through her whole body. _

 

_ “You made this?” Martyn turns to look at her, and Phil nods. “Is very pretty,” he says sincerely. _

 

_ There is something in his eyes that Phil can’t decipher but somehow, she knows she will have to answer a lot of questions later.   _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

The morning feels remarkably cold when Phil steps outside the house, she pulls the straps of her bag up and feels her caped coat move with the wind. A necklace with a black tourmaline stone rests on her chest. It’s for protection. Dani made it for Phil years ago and she should be wearing a matching one right now.

 

“Let’s go, Berit,” she calls to the fox, he bounds to her side.

 

Their home is close enough to the woods that it only takes a little while to see the large trees. Phil knows the path Dani should have taken. They will follow the creek, it would lead them to the flowers. It’s a two day walk, but they have been doing this for years, and the path is clear and the journey easy. Dani’s long absence doesn’t make any sense to Phil.

 

Dani has always loved the woods. She is very easily frightened and Phil always teases her for the spirit of bravery that seems to possess her when they are deep into the forest. She always says is not bravery; she thinks it is in her blood, that is a call to her nature and her roots and what she is. Phil is not sure she feels the same. She likes it in here because Dani does. Without Dani, the woods are too noisy, too dark, too devoid of magic.

 

“Do you think she is still out here because she wants to be?” She asks Berit after they have walked in silence for a while.

 

“I don’t think she would want you to worry like this,” he replies.

 

“The other option is worse, you know?” Phil looks down to the ground, contemplating the dried leaves.

 

Before the silence stretches for too long, Berit speaks again.

 

“We are going to find her.”

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

  
  


_ There is something about Dani that Phil can’t seem to get enough of. She has been visiting her place after work almost every day for a month and Dani is not asking her to stop. If anything, she is finding new excuses to have Phil there. Some days she teaches Phil how to carve crystals into pretty shapes, others she makes Phil teach her about herbalism. Today though, there is no pretext. _

 

_ Their shift ends at six and before Phil has time to think of a reason, Dani is already pulling her towards her car happily telling Phil about a show she has been watching. _

 

_ “Up for a sleepover?” Dani asks when they are both inside the car. _

 

_ Phil is a little surprised, she has never spent the night at Dani’s before. “Yeah,” she says, suddenly breathless from the constriction in her chest. _

 

_ Dani drives and sings along to the music on the radio and Phil watches her, heart beating impossibly fast. Her window is rolled down and the wind makes her short hair move wildly on the top of her head. She taps the wheel to the beat and Phil joins her singing loudly and off-key, because she knows the song and Dani is too beautiful and life is too short not to. _

 

_ They arrive at Dani’s apartment eventually, something tells Phil that she took the longest way on purpose, but she doesn’t comment on that. _

 

_ “What do you wanna do?” Dani asks after they have taken their shoes off and dropped their bags on the floor. _

 

_ Phil shrugs. “Whatever you want.” _

 

_ “For starters, take this off,” she says, sticking her hands up the back of her shirt and fumbling with her bra. _

 

_ Phil is left there, staring. She is frozen in place watching her friend throw her bra to the floor and walk to the kitchen like its nothing. _

 

_ And Phil would think that it really was nothing if Dani wasn’t so desperately trying to hide her blush behind the fridge’s door. _

  
  


⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

They have been walking for hours as silently as the sounds of the woods will allow. Phil is uncomfortable with the quiet especially when she is worried. The only thing she can do to stop herself from full-on panicking is making Berit distract her with conversation.

 

“Do you ever miss living here?” She asks him.

 

He makes a guttural sound that resembles a laugh. “I like to live with you and Dani.”

 

“That’s not an answer,” she complains.

 

“I don’t miss it, Phil. You are better than all the things out here that could potentially eat me.”

 

Phil’s stomach turns. “There are things out here that could potentially eat us?”

 

“Those creatures wouldn’t mess with a witch, you know that,” Berit reminds her.

 

“And you are a forest spirit, why would they want to eat you?”

 

“Because I’m a very bad forest spirit,” he says bitterly.

 

“You are not bad,” she turns to look at him, brows furrowed.

 

“But I was bad at being a spirit, I couldn’t protect anyone.”

 

“You protect me and Dani,” she points out.

 

“I barely do anything for you.”

 

“Not true! You shooed that spider out the other day,” she laughs and starts walking again.

 

“Well, glad to know my work is appreciated,” he says, making that laugh-like sound he does.

 

“Very much appreciated.”

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “So,” Martyn says. _ _  “Dani,” he sits down casually beside Phil on the sofa. _

 

_ Phil looks at him with apprehension. “What about Dani?” She asks, pretending not to understand. _

 

_ “She’s interesting,” he comments. _

 

_ “I’ve noticed,” she laughs, pulling her knees up to her chest. _

 

_ “You spend a lot of time with her,” Phil stays quiet, waiting for Martyn to continue. “You also made her that amulet and you clearly put a lot of effort into it.” _

 

_ “Is that a problem, Martyn?” she gives him an inquisitive look. _

 

_ “Of course not!” He rushes to clarify, “I’m just saying that she’s great and you should ask her out.” _

 

_ To ask Dani out sounds like such a great idea. If only Phil had the guts. _

 

_ “She doesn’t like me,” Phil puts her chin on her knee. _

 

_ “You don’t know that,” her brother argues. “I think she’s great and you clearly like her. I want you to be happy.” _

 

_ “I’m happy being her friend.” _

 

_ “I know,” Martyn says. “Just, give yourself a chance and who knows, you could be out of this house sooner than you think,” he gives her a sideways grin before standing up and leaving. _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

The clouds in the sky are turning darker and darker as if they were angry, the wind blows furiously, tossing Phil’s hair into her face constantly. She can even see Berit’s fur spiking up when particularly strong gust finds them.

 

“It’s going to be worse tomorrow, Phil,” Berit tells her.

 

“I know. Hopefully, we find Dani soon,” Phil says, more to comfort herself than anything else. “Are you hungry?”

 

“Yeah, we should stop for a bit.”

 

They find a nice enough place close by a fallen tree. Phil sits resting her back against it and Berit jumps to sit on top. He munches on some strawberries directly from a container while Phil eats a granola bar.

 

“Your family is going to be very worried when you don’t arrive to work tomorrow.”

 

“Can you actually blame me? I can’t just sit at home waiting for Dani when she could need me,” Phil looks down at the dirt beneath her.

 

“Have you thought that she could have taken another path?” He asks her after a couple minutes.

 

“This is the safest way, taking another path would be too risky,” Phil refuses to believe that Dani would do something like that alone when Phil is back at home, worrying about her.

 

“Then we should have crossed her path by now.”

 

“There has to be a reason for her delay, Berit.”

 

He huffs and shakes his head. “Why are those stupid flowers important?”

 

“For protection or whatever. At this point I’m not even sure,” she raises her brows and looks back up to the trees dancing in the wind, thinking about the dragon flowers.

 

The flowers have been important ever since she can remember. Every year her dad and Martyn would go into the woods and come back a couple of days later with two little flower buds and her mum would perform a ritual with them. The day after, those buds would bloom, turning into very orange and very shiny flowers. And those flowers would stay alive for a year, protecting the house and the store from dark magic and bad vibes.

 

Eventually, the task was passed to Dani and Phil, because Dani liked the woods enough to want to go and Phil liked Dani enough to follow her.

 

“I’m sure there are easier ways to obtain protection.”

 

“My family like their traditions and this is supposed to be the easy way.”

 

“Maybe it’s time for a change.”

 

“You tell that to mum,” Phil laughs despite herself. “We should carry on,” she stands up from the ground and brushes the dirt off of her pants.

 

The day is still young and they have a long way to go.

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

**_From: Daniiii_ **

**_18:35 p.m._ **

_ i’m not opening the door _

_ fetch the key from the top of the frame _

 

_ Phil laughs and shakes her head at the text. When Dani is concentrating on something nothing must disturb her, not even her friend knocking at the door. _

 

_ Phil is still smiling when she enters the building, the person sitting at reception gives her a nod and Phil gives them a little wave in return. She takes pride in being here so often that the receptionist remembers her. _

 

_ Phil climbs up the stairs to the third floor and walks through the hallway until she is in front of Dani’s door. She thanks her genes for being tall enough to reach the top of the frame and get the spare key. _

 

_ The door squeaks when Phil pushes it open, she takes off her shoes and her jacket before calling for Dani. _

 

_ “I’m here,” she says, walking forward. _

 

_ “Hey!” Dani calls back, and Phil turns in surprise. In the bedroom, there is a blanket draped over a chair and pillows everywhere. “What took you so long?” She laughs. “Come on, get in here.” _

 

_ Dani scoots over to, make room for Phil. _

 

_ “What’s all of this?” Phil asks as she crawls under the blanket with Dani. _

 

_ “A blanket fort,” she says, smiling. “And I’ve also got a secret to tell you.” _

 

_ They are so close, squeezed together on Dani’s mattress. _

 

_ “Tell me the secret then.” _

 

_ Dani leans even closer to whisper in her ear. “Today’s my birthday.” _

 

_ Phil pulls back to look at Dani, her brain processing what she just heard. _

 

_ “You were alone all day,” is the first coherent thought that comes into her head. She can’t fathom spending her birthday completely alone, without family or friends around. _

 

_ “I don’t mind,” Dani says with a giggle, “plus, the only person that I wanted to see today is sitting next to me right now,” she reaches out and takes Phil’s hand in hers. _

 

_ Phil looks back at her, out of words. with her heart pounding, she lifts her free hand to cup Dani’s cheek _

_ Their eyes meet again and just like the first time Phil saw Dani months ago, time seems to freeze. Dani’s eyes drift down to Phil’s lips and then back up to her eyes, Phil gives her a timid but firm nod and Dani leans in. _

 

_ Their lips touch and Phil’s world turns upside down.   _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

They walk until it’s dark and continue even after the night falls. Phil conjures a magic fire that helps light the way, but it has been a long day and they are exhausted.

 

“We should sleep for a while,”  she tells Berit.

 

You can’t ever be really comfortable sleeping on the ground, but they make do with a couple of blankets and the backpack as a pillow.

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

**_To: Daniiii_ **

**_7:12 a.m._ **

_ mum is crazy _

 

_ she has a new house rule _

 

_ wake up early on free days _

_ I wanna die _

 

**_from: Daniiii_ **

**_11:47 a.m._ **

_ sorry for your suffering babe _

 

_ ill have you know that in dani’s household _

 

_ we wake up when we want on free days _

 

**_to: Daniiii_ **

**_11:50 a.m._ **

_ maybe i should move _

 

**_from: Daniiii_ **

**_11:50 a.m._ **

_!!!!!! _

_ of course you should!!!!! _

 

**_from: Daniiii_ **

**_11:51 a.m._ **

_ with me _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

“We will need a vacation after this emotional turmoil we’re being put through,” Berit mumbles. He is curled in on himself beside Phil.

 

“You know what, buddy?” Phil says, eyes already closed. “I second you on that.”

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “Philipa!” Dani calls from behind the kitchen bar, and Phil whines at the use of her full name. “Care to explain?” She has her hands on her hips and is trying hard to keep severe expression on her face. _

 

_ Phil stands up from the couch and goes to see what has offended Dani so much. There is a drawer in the kitchen full of her socks. _

 

_ She laughs. _

 

_ “I mean, I had to change where I kept some stuff from after the winter, mum got me too many things,” she explains still giggling. _

 

_ Dani lets her arms fall to her sides. “You’re right,” she sighs. “This place is a fucking cupboard.” _

 

_ Phil becomes serious immediately. She lays her hands on Dani’s shoulders. “Hey, I like this place. I like living here with you,” she assures Dani. “I would live under a bridge with you.” _

 

_ That makes Dani smile a little. “I’m sorry there’s no storage in here,” she wraps her own hands around Phil’s wrists, caressing the skin there with her thumbs. _

 

_ They look at each other for a moment, until an idea occurs to Phil. _

 

_ “Remember when you told me you wanted to live in the woods?” she says, excited. Dani nods, not quite knowing where Phil’s going with this. “My grandma used to have this little cottage near the woods. I had completely forgotten about it, but we could ask my mother for the keys!” _

 

_ “Are you serious?” Dani asks, dimples popping on her cheeks. _

 

_ “We would have to fix some things but I think we could live there!” _

 

_ “That would be so amazing, Phil!” Dani exclaims, wrapping Phil in a tight hug. “I love you.” _

 

_ “I love you too.” _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

The night is cold but they make it through. The morning is not much better. The wind whips them mercilessly, and they stumble and shiver. Soon there will be rain.

 

“We better keep an eye out for possible shelter,” Phil suggests. She doesn’t want to stop, but it would be impossible to continue in heavy rain.

 

“I’m pretty sure there is a cave a couple of miles from here.”

 

“We have to get there then.”

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “I love this place!” Dani yells, jumping in place. “I can’t believe it’s ours!” _

 

_ “I’m so happy,” Phil laughs, joining Dani in her jumping. “It’s gonna look so much prettier when we are done fixing it. I can’t wait!” _

 

_ “I can’t either!” _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

Thunder rumbles in the distance, and there is a humid smell coming from the ground. The rain comes closer and closer. Phil calls out Dani’s name, but there is no response. Desperation and anxiety have overtaken her body but still, she has to keep trying.

 

_ Dani is close, Dani is safe  _ she chants in her head.

 

They have to keep going.

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “I can’t believe my dad convinced you to do this,” Phil laughs, shaking her head. “And that you dragged me along.” _

 

_ “I owe too much to your parents,” Dani says, looking down at her boots. “And I like the woods. This is fun, stop complaining.” she pushes Phil gently with her shoulder.” _

 

_ “At least we’re spending some quality time together. Sleeping on the ground and eating granola bars, that’s what I call bonding,” Phil jokes. _

 

_ “You are such a baby,” Dani teases her. _

 

_ They continue walking for a while, they still have one day more of travel before reaching the end of the woods. The dragon flowers rest securely in their bag. At least it was a successful trip. _

 

_ “What’s that?” Dani says, coming to stop all of a sudden. She walks closer to the creek and Phil follows suit. “Oh dear! It’s a fox!” She drops to her knees and pulls the poor creature away from the water. _

 

_ Phil kneels beside her. “It’s hurt,” she whispers, stomach turning at the sight of blood. _

 

_ “You have to do something,” Dani urges her. “I don’t know shit about healing, Phil. Please.” _

 

_ Phil takes a deep breath. She is not the best at this but she has enough knowledge to heal a wound. _

 

_ “Where is the cut?” _

 

_ “On its leg, it’s deep.” _

 

_ “We have to clean it. Get a rag out of the bag.” Phil instructs. _

 

_ Dani passes her the fabric and Phil gets to work. She cleans the wound and examines it, it looks bad. _

 

_ “There must be comfrey oil in my bag, it has a label,” Dani digs on the bag again and gets the crystal bottle out. Phil takes it from her hands and pours some drops into the cut. Dani hands her a bandage before she can even ask and she wraps it around the fox's leg. _

 

_ “You have to do the projection thing, I don’t think the bandage is enough.” _

 

_ “I’m bad at that,” Phil says, voice wavering. _

 

_ “Try it?” _

 

_ Phil nods, she pulls the fox onto her lap and closes her eyes, trying really hard to concentrate. She projects herself in her mind, sitting on the ground, and then she does the same with the fox. She mentally pulls it into the healing circle, wrapping it up in good vibes. She thinks of a healthy fox running around the woods, sitting by the creek with the sun hitting its fur. Phil does what she knows, and hopes it’s enough. _

 

_ When she opens her eyes again, Dani’s looking at her with something like pride or admiration or a mix of both. _

 

_ “It’s breathing regularly now, I think you did it, Phil.” She leans closer and wipes under Phil’s eyes. She hadn't even realized she was crying. _

 

_ “I did it,” she repeats. _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

“The cave is close, Phil!” Berit shouts over the roaring of the wind. The rain is already falling. “We have to hurry. Come on!”

 

They run.

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “Fuck!” _

 

_ If it was any other day, Phil would be rushing inside the house to make sure Dani was OK, but today is the hottest day that they have experienced in years and Phil can’t to do anything else but lie in a hammock on their porch. _

 

_ Phil hears some more noises and Dani’s grumpy huffing, but she keeps her eyes closed and lets the light breeze hit her skin. _

 

_ Suddenly, a weight crushes her and the hammock jerks violently. Phil yelps and holds onto Dani for leverage. _

 

_ “You wanna kill me?” she asks, letting out a breathy laugh and opening her eyes to see her girlfriend wearing only a bra and shorts lying on top of her. _

 

_ Dani groans. _

 

_ “You are very sticky, you know?” she teases, putting her hand against Dani’s sweaty back. _

 

_ “Shut up,” she whines. “I’m angry.” _

 

_ “Really? I couldn’t tell.” Dani starts to wiggle on top of Phil, making the hammock move. “You’re gonna make us fall, stop.” Phil pleads laughing uncontrollably. _

 

_ “Stop being mean.” _

 

_ “Fine, sorry. Why are you angry, babe?” She asks with exaggerated sweetness in her voice. _

 

_ “Because its hot and I have to finish that stupid amethyst moon for that client but I just broke yet another piece of amethyst.” _

 

_ “Aww, poor Dani. I’m sure it’ll be fine, you can take a break and I can help you with it later.” _

 

_ “Really?” _

 

_ “Yeah, I think we should take a shower, then eat some ice cream and get on with it after.” _

 

_ “Right now? I’m very comfy,” she says, the whiny voice making a comeback. _

 

_ “I would be comfy if every place where our skin is touching didn’t feel like it is burning,” Phil comments laughing. _

 

_ “We must all make sacrifices for love,” Dani says, tucking her face in the crook of Phil's neck. _

 

_ “Oh, no,” Phil begs, prodding Dani’s side. “Don’t fall asleep on me.” _

 

_ “No promises,” Dani mumbles against Phil’s skin. _

 

_ Phil braces herself for a sauna session. _

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

Phil runs until she reaches the mouth of the cave. The rain falls heavy at her back. She is soaked from head to toe.

 

“Berit?” A very familiar voice asks, somewhere deeper in the cave.

 

“Dani?”

 

Phil walks forward.

 

“Dani,” she says, out of breath. “Dani, what the fuck?” Phil stumbles into her arms and Dani hugs her back just as tightly, but her stance is not very firm and they both end up falling to the ground.

 

Dani hisses and her expression is pained.

 

“You’re hurt, aren’t you?” Phil sits up, immediately scanning Dani’s body for any wound. Dani’s leg catches Phil’s attention. Her jeans are ripped, she can see dried blood on her knee and her ankle is visibly swollen. “What happened?”

 

“I fell,” Dani explains, Phil brings a trembling hand close to the affected area and Dani flinches away. “It’s not broken but it hurts like hell.”

 

Phil sighs, pushing her wet hair away from her face, “you probably have a sprained ankle.”

 

Berit sits down beside Dani and nuzzles her hair.

 

“Hey buddy,” she says, dragging her hand along his damp fur. “I can’t believe you both came here in the fucking rain.”

 

Berit huffs, “you thought we would just forget about you?”

 

“Of course not,” she smiles. “I just didn’t think Kath would allow you to risk going out with this weather.”

 

“We didn’t tell her,” Phil says.

 

“I guess you love me.”

 

Phil punches her weakly on the shoulder. “Don’t ever doubt it.”  

 

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” Dani stretches her arm out, a silent invitation for Phil to cuddle in.

 

Phil scoots closer, resting her head on Dani’s shoulder and looks out at the rain and the lightning illuminating the sky. They won’t be able to go out until tomorrow and that only if Dani can walk.

 

Phil feels the exhaustion take over her body so she closes her eyes and lets her mind drift away.  _ Dani is beside her, Dani is safe _ . The rest she can worry about later.

 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

_ “Absolutely no.” _

 

_ “Phil!” _

 

_ “No, Dani.” _

 

_ “It’s important to your family,” Dani insists. _

 

_ “You hate the dark when you are alone and you don’t know how to conjure a fire.” Phil paces restlessly. _

 

_ “Teach me then, come on,” she insists. “I know you don’t want me to go into the woods alone but I swear it’ll be fine.” _

 

_ “I won't even be able to communicate with you while you’re gone, what if you need help?” _

 

_ “We have done this a hundred times,” Dani reminds her, her voice going soft. “I can do it.” _

 

_ “I know you can,” Phil sits down on the bed, already feeling defeated. “You can do whatever you want, Dani. I just wish I could go with you.” _

 

_ “Martyn needs you here,” Dani sits beside her and puts her hand on Phil’s thigh. “I promise you I will go, get the flowers and come back immediately. You won’t even notice I left.” _

 

_ “That’s impossible,” Phil shakes her head. “I’ll miss you every second you are gone.” _

 

_ “Ugh, don’t get all cheesy on me,” Dani complains, playfully knocking her shoulder into Phil's. _

 

_ They sit there for a couple of minutes in silence, both thinking. _

 

_ “I’ll teach you how to conjure the fire,” Phil says after a while. _

 

_ “I’ll miss you a lot too, you know?” _

 

_ Phil smiles, “We are ridiculous.” _

 

_ “Maybe a little,” Dani laughs. _

  
  


⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

 

Phil almost can’t believe they are back in their house,  _ together. _

 

Berit leaves to inform everyone that they are home and alright and Phil and Dani are left alone. The walk back home was uncharacteristically quiet, Dani and Berit doing most of the talking, Phil just nodding or giving short answers. She knows that it’s not fair, that getting hurt was out of Dani’s control, but she can’t stop herself from feeling what she feels.

 

Dani goes to take a shower or maybe a bath, Phil doesn’t ask. She can’t bother to join so she undresses and cleans herself in the sink, as quick as she can, with a wet cloth. Phil goes back to the bedroom and throws one of Dani’s longest shirts over her head, then she gets on the bed and buries herself under a blanket.

 

Phil can’t tell how much times passes before Dani is back. She might think Phil is asleep because she moves around very quietly. Dani gets under the blanket with Phil but seems to hesitate before putting her arm on Phil’s waist that’s what breaks Phil.

 

She turns around so they are facing and touches Dani’s cheek.

 

“I’m sorry,” Dani starts but Phil shuts her up by shoving their lips together. The kiss is chaste and firm and wet from Phil’s tears but perfect, nevertheless.

 

“I was so worried,” She says, kissing Dani’s cheeks and her forehead and her nose.

 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Dani tells her again.

 

“Are you still hurting? I can make you tea,” Phil offers, trying to break their embrace and get up.

 

Dani pulls her back, “I’m alright, I just want you to stay with me,” she drags Phil half on top of her and squeezes her middle. “I feel like I haven’t seen you for years,” she lets out a wet laugh, Phil realizes she is crying too. “I told you I was gonna miss you.”

 

Phil laughs a little too, she wipes the tears away from her eyes and does the same for Dani, “let's never leave the other’s side again?” she asks, only half joking.

 

“Yeah, let’s get surgically joined together,” Dani says, making Phil laugh.

 

“I actually know that spell…”

 

“Oh dear.”

 

Phil feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She can breathe again now that they are lying in their bed and making each other laugh as it was meant to be.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! come say hi on Tumblr at babethepig
> 
> Title from [this](http://www.materialdelectura.unam.mx/index.php/poesia-moderna/16-poesia-moderna-cat/397-no-209-dario-jaramillo-agudelo?showall=&start=21) poem.
> 
> You can reblog [here](http://babethepig.tumblr.com/post/183151892935/here-alone-without-you-on-the-other-side-of-the).


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